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The empty threat of empty calories.

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Let’s start here
food (noun): Material, usually of plant or animal origin, that contains or consists of essential body nutrients, such as carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, or minerals, and is ingested and assimilated by an organism to produce energy, stimulate growth, and maintain life.

I’m tired of food being demonized. We, as intelligent, media-savvy individuals, spend a lot of time wading through the information surplus and gleaning for ourselves what is relevant and trustworthy and what is not. But when it comes to food a lot of us have a huge blind spot. We mindlessly believe whatever the media tells us. We’ll follow the rules set forth by anyone granola-crunchy enough to seem to know what they’re talking about. We’ll allow fad diets to infiltrate our psyche. If you haven’t heard it before, let me be the first to tell you: food isn’t the enemy.

Today i was reading a food blog that focuses on healthy cooking. This particular writer’s idea of healthy is low-fat, low-calorie and subbing out “bad” ingredients for “good” ones (let me be clear, i do not intrinsically disagree with this angle. i mean, i do subscribe to the blog). This particular post was for blondies made from scratch. What got to me, though, was that at the end of the post there was a disclaimer saying that “there is no nutrition” in the recipe. What? It’s food isn’t it?! The author seems to explain this strange statement away by stating that she used white flour and white sugar.

The human body is complex and resilient.  We live in a society of vast abundance and variety of food. Our bodies need very little to function properly.  As long as you keep putting in fuel when you feel hungry, your body will keep chugging along. This is scientific fact. But our heads are messed up. The food pyramid has made us think that each thing we eat is made up of one nutrient. Meat only has protein. Pasta and bread only have carbs. Vegetables are 100% nutrition. etc. Atkins and food-pyramid-backlash have led to the demonization of carb-heavy foods as fattening and devoid of nutrition. None of these things are true.

Here are some things that are true:

  • 100g of lean beef has more than 4X as much iron as 100g of cooked kale.
  • leaving the skin on a potato does not significantly boost it’s nutritinal value. However, potatoes are a complete source of nutrition. Containing good amounts of several vitamins (especially C), minerals (especially iron and potassium), dietary fiber, and are a source of complete, high quality protein.
  • celery, while low in calories, packs a high nutritional punch on a per-calorie basis.  Celery is a good source of Riboflavin, Vitamin B6, Pantothenic Acid, Calcium, Magnesium and Phosphorus, and a very good source of Dietary Fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin K, Folate, Potassium and Manganese.
  • 11% of the calories in bleached white flour come from complete, high quality protein. White flour is also a good source of thiamine, folate, and iron.

i’m not saying you need to abandon your quinoa and wheatgrass. but why be a food extremist? nutritionally inferior does not equal nutritionally void.

don’t hate, fix a plate.


Written by haterrant

May 3, 2011 at 10:03 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Getting Testy

with one comment

I don’t hate quizzo. I hate loosing at quizzo. When it comes to this particular bar activity, the fun-ness or lack thereof relies entirely on the outcome.

When you play a game of quizzo and win you’re like: OMG we’re so smart! YAY gift certificate! We should buy shots with it so we can be even smarterer.

But when you loose you’re all like: eff this. if i wanted to be asked annoying questions all night i would have called my mom. I just wanted to drink and relax and now i feel stupid. I should have a shot to cheer me up.

I guess what i’m saying is that Wednesday night quizzo somehow always leads to Thursday morning hangovers…

Written by haterrant

April 7, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

I Hate Springtime

with 10 comments

I hate the Spring. I also hate how people in the northeast have crazy seasonal amnesia but thats a post for another day.

This is how spring usually goes: We get a couple of unseasonably warm days towards the end of winter and people think winter is over. This usually happens towards the end of February or early March. Spring doesn’t even officially start till late March so this is just stupid to begin with. Then comes the rain. Weeks and weeks of rain. And people are like “when is spring gonna get here?” Newsflash! This is spring. Its crappy every year. Its cold and cloudy and drizzly and sometimes it snows. Sure, in some places spring is delightful. The weather is temperate and breezy, the sun shines and the world bursts into bloom and the beauty of the bounty of nature brings a tear to your dumb, sentimental eyes. But if you’ve been in this region for more than a year, you should know better.

So eff the spring. I hate rain because it makes people use umbrellas. I hate cloudy days because they make me drowsy and moody and give me headaches. But most of all i hate listening to you complain about the weather as if you are so surprised that it’s crappy.

Written by haterrant

March 31, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Sing, Dance, and Shut the Hell Up

with one comment

Dear Justin Bieber: Your views on abortion are stupid. But you’re 16 and i get it. You actually are stupid. I dont expect a lot from you. However, i have to say, anyone who can say that rape “happens for a reason” is asking for it, if you know what i mean.

Now that that’s out of the way.

I hate it when entertainers chime in on political topics that they have no business pontificating about. Shit, you’re a singer, you don’t have any business pontificating about anything but singing and dancing. Being famous doesnt mean you’re smart. Being famous doesnt make you an expert on anything besides whatever it is you’re famous for. As a matter of fact, i tend to think that most entertainers have below average intelligence and that mostly comes from the times when they open their mouths and say something stupid about a topic they have no business spewing their stupid opinion about. That and their twitter feeds.

Written by haterrant

February 17, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Posted in Celebrities, Poor Taste

Cover Me

with 2 comments

I like clubs with a cover.

I’ve gone to free parties and chilled out till like 1:15AM before i finally decide theres nothing funner going on and i might as well dance for a while here before i head home. Not so if you charge a cover. The only time i’m not on the dance floor is when im buying a drink, or when the music is just un-danceable. If you spent $10 and didnt manage to have fun, then you just feel stupid.

I dont like paying money to get into parties. I dont like paying money for anything. I feel like, with parties, you kinda get what you pay for, though. Once i’ve thrown down cash at the door, i am invested in the rest of the evening. I am a shareholder of this good time. And i am damn sure going to get my money’s worth.

Written by haterrant

February 14, 2011 at 2:40 pm

That’s Just Fine

with one comment

We the haters wanted to offer a little something special for the upcoming (fake) holiday of luuurrrrrrve. So for the six days leading up to and including Valentines day (meaning we’re starting tomorrow, in case the math is over your head), the haters will post on things they enjoy. Or at least shit they cant hate on that hard. It will be a real challenge. We may need new guest contributors. Or we may just not post at all for about a week. Either way, it will be something different.

Happy valentines day, jerks.






p.s. this card is something i totally like. click it to check out Robin Plemmon’s etsy store.

Written by haterrant

February 8, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Handshake Rape

with one comment

People that know me know i’m not a hugger. I dont like to be touched. I especially loathe physical contact with strangers. Shaking hands is already something i do despite the fact that it practically gives me the cold shakes to have to do it. Social convention and all that.

So i may be overreacting, but it sends me into the 6th circle of panicky anxiety-ridden hell when i’m shaking hands with someone and they hold on to it just to force me to stand there while they say things to me that under the very best circumstances would only elicit an uncomfortable smile. Its so inconsiderate. I hardly know you. If i knew you, we wouldn’t be shaking hands in the first place. A handshake is BY DEFINITION something you do with a recent acquaintance or a stranger. So, stranger, what makes you think it’s okay to stand there in the middle of a crowded room and HOLD MY HAND while you compliment me on my pool skills (which are mediocre at very best) and express how you hope you get to play me again? I get it, you’re flirting. But its like trying to flirt with a cornered animal. The panic in my eyes is REAL. You’re talking, and i’m not hearing any of it. I’m just standing there wondering why i’m holding hands with a stranger and when this nightmare is going to end. I’m plotting my escape. I’m wondering how long before i start to gnaw on my own wrist in an attempt to free myself from your lingering handshake of doom. I’m wondering if violence is an appropriate reaction and how hard i will have to hit you with my free hand to get you to let go. I’m wishing i didn’t leave my rape whistle in my purse across the room.

Written by haterrant

February 1, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Posted in Common Courtesy

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