Hater Rant

Tell me how you really feel.


with 2 comments

I hate umbrellas. I hate them passionately. I hate the threatening, pointy spokes that are right at eye-level. I hate that when i walk past someone the runoff from their umbrella is liable to soak my shoulder or my foot. I hate the way that a person with an umbrella takes up twice as much sidewalk real estate as a person without one. I especially hate how people who are carrying umbrellas will have them tilted down in front of their stupid faces and walk around looking at the ground just so they can run into you and poke your eyes out and drip on your coat. Its just rediculous. I hate umbrellas so much that rainy days make me want to walk around with a super-soaker. Then once people are soaked they wont have a reason to carry their stupid umbrellas around. Or drive around in my car and speed through every curb-side puddle.

Its the city, sidewalk space is precious and you aren’t the only one walking down the street getting rained on. Buy a hat.


Written by haterrant

January 10, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Posted in Common Courtesy

2 Responses

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  1. I was an umbrella hater until a few years ago, for all of the reasons you’ve listed. I actually started carrying an umbrella to protect myself from the other umbrellas and I found it worked really quite well. Ever since I’ve been on ‘Team Umbrella’

    As they say, The best defense is a good offense.

    Peter Hamtramck

    January 31, 2011 at 5:16 pm

  2. […] eff the spring. I hate rain because it makes people use umbrellas. I hate cloudy days because they make me drowsy and moody and give me headaches. But most of all i […]

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