Hater Rant

Tell me how you really feel.

Happy Holidays. Give me your money.

with 4 comments

Clipboard people are terrorists. If i’ve told you once, i’ve told you a thousand times: NO! i do not have a moment for world hunger, saving whales, battered women, gay rights, or any other thing you are going to try to guilt me into giving you my credit card info for. And, i resent the implication. As if by not having the time or extra cash to offer you right this second, i must be some insensitive, heartless, selfish waste of natural resources that hates babies and people with AIDS and endangered baby animals. I’m looking at you: Amnesty International, ACLU, Greenpeace, and Save the Children. It’s the holidays and i understand what you’re trying to do, but i work here. I am on these streets every single day. It’s gotten out of hand to the point where i’m afraid to step foot outside my office because i know you’re just lurking there. Waiting to make me interact with a hyper, smug, cloying, smiling stranger and feel bad about not wanting to give my money away. I dont deserve that. What did i ever do to you to make you want to ruin my lunch break every single fucking day? To keep me from scheduling appointments or running errands? You all should take a page from the Salvation Army’s book and figure out something just a little less intrusive. Or, at the least, just leave me alone.

As usual, i have a solution.

The “Local Pass”. If you work or live in center city and are tired of being accosted by do-gooders, you get a special secret pin or something that, when the “chuggers” (a portmanteau of “charity” and “muggers” that i read here) see you coming, they just let you alone. Assault the shoppers and the tourists. I really don’t care. Besides, they probably have the time and the money that i dont.


Written by haterrant

December 21, 2010 at 3:31 pm

4 Responses

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  1. I’m trying to cut down on my hate but this so fucking true! Leave me alone, I spend my whole days helping people and I don’t want to be guilt tripped into giving what little money I make to some cause I don’t care about! Shit!


    December 23, 2010 at 10:15 am

    • I want to start a “take back the streets” campaign. The harassment has got to stop!


      December 23, 2010 at 2:50 pm

  2. I tell them that I am a member. I say they hooked my gullible husband and they smile at me so gratefully. Yes, I am an awful person.


    December 30, 2010 at 1:51 pm

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